Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Damn victory sex feels great
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
