dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
