I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
