so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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