yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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