so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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