cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
