just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
