hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
