A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
