The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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