Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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