So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
