I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
