We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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