hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
