I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
