you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
