We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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