you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
