So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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