I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
