You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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