Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
