Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
not ubering you a puppy
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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