If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
