Can Purell be used as lube?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
