I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
