It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
