hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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