Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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