Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
