And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
