goodnight i made you a song goodbye
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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