Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
