Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
