So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
