To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
nutella sex= disaster
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
