I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
