Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
