Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
