it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
