You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
