It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
