hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
