I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
