i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
