I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
