your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
