He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
